She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
