I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
