it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm both gender and math confused
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
where are my eyebrows?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
