No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
