We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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