One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
