Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he told me I talked like a deaf person
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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