i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Randomize
