Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I stole a fireplace last night.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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