Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
