i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
