My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
