i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize