everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
