so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
