And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
