Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
