Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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