Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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