the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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