you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
