Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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