He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
