Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm way too hungover for life right now
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize