She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Still dying that you shit outside
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
