we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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