Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
