Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just took my morning after pill in the library
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
