why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
