Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
