I am puke
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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