You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
