yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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