You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize