O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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