so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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