mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
