Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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