then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize