This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
