Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
