now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
