Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
