so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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