i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
