I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
