Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Randomize
