i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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