She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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