I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
