he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
