I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
