Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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