Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
