im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she looked like the before picture.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
