you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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