I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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