I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
operation harelip BJ is a go
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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