somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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