note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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