remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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