"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
