i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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