I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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