Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
