Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize